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Two Minutes Hate - UCONN
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  Two Minutes Hate - UCONN
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Hokie200proof
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« on: September 25, 2013, 03:03:45 PM »


Let me begin this rant with a quick apology… but not really, because a true Beeffalo Bull is never sorry and never wrong… but as this pertains to you, the faithful UBrothers of UBfan.com, I owe you a Bull-to-bull apology as I’ve almost broken a promise to deliver a fresh, hot and angry “Two Minutes Hate…” every week.  I'll admit that I REALLY mailed it in on the Stony Brook one.  I’ve been on a somewhat amazing (and hellish) 23 day work trip that took me through five different countries, and almost three-times as many airports, so I’m only now getting a chance to write this on an Acela train from NYC to DC.  Forgive me UBrothers, for this foe deserves more time and attention than the hastily written, Wednesday-afternoon-released rant that follows.  

UCONN… (cringe) just saying the name makes you feel nauseous… and douchey.  Like you need to run your hand over your head to make sure you’re not wearing a visor or a fedora... or check yourself in the mirror to make sure saying the name didn’t somehow frost your hair or change your outfit to a white-beater and plaid shorts, with argyle socks pulled up above your knees.  Don’t worry, it doesn’t do that… but that terrible, sick feeling is there whenever you have to say “UCONN”.

It’s hard to describe how much… just… eecckth… this school conjures up in me.  From the fans, and their preposterous sense of grandeur and accomplishment, to the no-city it occupies, Storrs, Connecticut, UCONN just offers nothing good for humanity.  It’s all just a big smelly bag of Axe body spray, Amazonian women, and unabashed pretentiousness that the world would be better off without.

So… other than that, why should we hate them?  Let’s do this…

Smart Coaches have used UCONN like the Gloryhole of a HC job that it is…
Skip Holtz and Randy Edsall stayed long enough to get their nut and get a (marginally) better job.  Skip decided to move down to move up by taking the OC position at South Carolina (having his career momentarily rescued by his Dad, renowned dementia sufferer and barely-tolerated TV personality, Lou Holtz) and Randy Edsall jumped to the first real program in an AQ conference that would interview him after 11 years as a Husky.  Randy took full advantage of a pedestrian 8-5 season and the Big Least’s horsesh1t auto-bid to the Fiesta Bowl in 2011.

Their current coach, Paul Pasqualoni, has already risen to 13th on UCONN’s all-time wins list by going 5-8 in his historic two seasons with the Huskies.  Pasqualoni, whose “accolades” include tying for 1st in the Big Least Conference with an overall record of 6-6 and getting FIRED in the process, and staying out of Donovan McNabb’s way long enough to win two other Big Least titles, is figuring out his coaching career plan C in Storrs.  He will no doubt jump for a graduate assistant position at a real program if he can manage a record of .500 or better at UCONN.  Pasqualoni is widely considered to be one of the most charisma-less, charmless and forgettable coaches in American football.  To prove my point, here’s the actual picture of Pauly from his wiki page –

Nice head shot PP.  Best of luck getting the fvck out of the Big Lea… I mean the AAC.  The key to the UCONN football offices is attached to a big broom handle.  If you're an aspiring coach, do yourself a favor and drive past the UCONN exit to the next best career truck stop... you don't want to catch this kind of career herpes on the way up.

It’s in Connecticut
Oh Connecticut… how often we forget you’re even there.  From it's founding at some time in the past (there's no Connecticut Wiki page as no one cares*), the state’s only purpose has been to serve as a tax haven and country club repository for New York City’s yacht and polo crowd.  It’s the only place on earth where you’ll find people wearing madras pants and nautical-themed clothes who are actually on their way to do something nautical… for which this kind of apparel is hilariously ill-suited.  Despite the disproportionate number of rich a$$holes in the state, there's a far larger (and far more intolerable) number of people pretending to be rich a$$holes.  This has led to nearly catastrophic levels of DPMs (Douchyness Per Square Mile) leading the EPA to begin regulation of Smug levels in the major marina areas.  I wanted to show you all some of the damage that this amount of unfounded elitism has caused, so I googled “Connecticut Douchey” and found this proof of CT's historical doucheyness -
http://civil-war-soldiers.findthedata.org/l/1493461/William-E-Douchey
Why am I not surprised that William E. Douchey fought for the Connecticut 12th infantry during the Civil War... probably while wearing a fedora and a fake tan.

They’ve done absolutely nothing as a program and yet they’ve convinced mbundt1 and probably two other people on earth that they have...
mbundt1… shame on you.  A Beeffalo Bull is NEVER envious of anyone or anything.  To even suggest that is to suggest that a UBrother could be imperfect or lacking.  This is simply not the case.  But pretending for moment that this was a board from an Ohio school, what on earth is envious of the “success” that Connecticut has achieved?  We’ve already reviewed their public raping in the Fiesta Bowl in 2011, an honor gained by a Big-Least-BCS-bowl-qualifying record of 8-5.  What else have they done?  I’ll save you the trouble of going to Wiki or football record archives to dig up the info and give you the answer – NOTHING.  Winning the Big Least without Tech or Miami is like winning the grand prize on "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader"… that should be given, and if you didn’t do that, you’re fvcking retarded.
  
Their 2013 season has started as enviable as ever, going 0-3 with an opening loss to FCS Towson.  Count me Blue and White with envy.

That’s all I have time to write for now… either the train or the constant though of UCONN is making me sick, so I have to let you all take it from here.


*Don't try to verify that.
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BullsFanInChiTown
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« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2013, 07:14:13 PM »

I hope to see DPM become an official unit of measurement someday lol. Good stuff
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Bull_In_Exile
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« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2013, 07:16:16 PM »

I hope to see DPM become an official unit of measurement someday lol. Good stuff

Well UB has the cartography clout to make it happen.. 
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CTBullsfan
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« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2013, 08:28:08 PM »

I knew this was going to happen. I was a Bull before I was a Nutmegger (how did you not mention that?), but I feel I need to set the record straight.

Quote
It’s in Connecticut
Oh Connecticut… how often we forget you’re even there.  From it's founding at some time in the past (there's no Connecticut Wiki page as no one cares*), the state’s only purpose has been to serve as a tax haven and country club repository for New York City’s yacht and polo crowd.  It’s the only place on earth where you’ll find people wearing madras pants and nautical-themed clothes who are actually on their way to do something nautical… for which this kind of apparel is hilariously ill-suited. Despite the disproportionate number of rich a$$holes in the state, there's a far larger (and far more intolerable) number of people pretending to be rich a$$holes.

For every one person who lives in Greenwich, Darien, New Canaan, and Westport (who fit the profile and wouldn't be caught dead at UCONN) there are probably a dozen in  Bridgeport, Hartford, East Hartford (where UCONN plays), Waterbury living in poverty.

Quote
This has led to nearly catastrophic levels of DPMs (Douchyness Per Square Mile) leading the EPA to begin regulation of Smug levels in the major marina areas.  I wanted to show you all some of the damage that this amount of unfounded elitism has caused, so I googled “Connecticut Douchey” and found this proof of CT's historical doucheyness -
http://civil-war-soldiers.findthedata.org/l/1493461/William-E-Douchey
Why am I not surprised that William E. Douchey fought for the Connecticut 12th infantry during the Civil War... probably while wearing a fedora and a fake tan.

I did not know about Douchey. I mentioned it to my son (who is taking American History this year), and he promised he would bring the topic of the legendary Private to his class, and then blame me for it.
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BCBull
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« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2013, 11:33:27 PM »

Hokie left so much unsaid.

Bad coach + Bad helmets


Once upon a time UConn sued a priest to try to keep the Big East together, only to 9 years later try to sue their way into the ACC. A suit which the governor of the state tried to join. One of the only good things Gene DeFillippo did in his last 4 years as AD was to keep UConn out of the ACC. Even though UConn's academics probably took care of that on their own anyway.

Quote
October 25, 2012|By DOM AMORE, damore@courant.com, The Hartford Courant
The UConn men's basketball team scored an 11 percent graduation rate in figures released by the NCAA on Thursday, down from 25 percent a year ago and the lowest among major Division I basketball programs in the nation.

The NCAA released what it considered encouraging graduation rates for student athletes, showing improvement in football and men's basketball across the country, but UConn was far below the national average of 74 percent for men's basketball, and every other Big East school was above 50 percent.

UConn hockey is joining Hockey East. UConn fans think they will dominate within a few years as they capitalize on the hockey hotbed that is the state of Connecticut. They have forgotten that half of HE sits within Massachusetts, and apparently also have forgotten that the States of Minnesota and Michigan even exist. They also fail to realize that the only reason their team that went 14-10-3 in Atlantic Hockey is because Hockey East made the desperation addition of Notre Dame and needed an even number. 

UConn sold Michigan gear at their last football game. Good business? Yes. Pathetic? Also yes.

Randy Edsall hated UConn so much that he left by getting on a different plane from the team after the Fiesta Bowl and texted them when they landed that he wasn't coming back.

UConn paid $275000 to lose to Towson.

UConn got Graham Stewart, a 4* commit from an hour away from campus, and declared that they had built a recruiting fence around New England. That fence has helped them go 5-9 in the last two years of the Big East.

This WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN IN THE NEW YORK TIMES ABOUT UCONN:
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if the SEC should seek to expand its footprint to the Northeast, perhaps book a couple of its gridiron Goliaths into MetLife Stadium, Manuel and Connecticut would not play hard to get. If the Big 12 should raid the A.C.C. — as some have speculated it might — then he would keep a night light in the window to help the A.C.C. folks locate him in countrified Storrs.
Gold, Jerry. Gold.

This happened:


UConn lost 1.6 million playing in the Fiesta Bowl.

UConn allows Desmond Conner to exist. I'm not even going to link to his garbage.

Nobody at UConn ever taught Jim Calhoun how to ride a bike.
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CTBullsfan
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« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2013, 09:06:09 AM »

If you want to dump on the Constitution State I might suggest starting with the fact that it may have the most corrupt politicians per capital in the nationa.

John Rowland - The self proclaimed "Waterbury Rat"
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sold his office for more than $100,000 in chartered trips to Las Vegas, vacations in Vermont and Florida, and improvements at his lakeside cottage. He resigned last summer amid a gathering drive to impeach him. Sentenced to a year in prison and four months of house arrest
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-03-18-rowland_x.htm

Phil Giordano former mayor of Waterbury
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While investigating municipal corruption,[1][2] the FBI discovered phone records and pictures of Giordano with a prostitute, as well as with her 10-year-old niece and her eight-year-old daughter.[3] He was arrested on July 26, 2001, and, in March 2003, was convicted of 14 counts of using an interstate device,[4] his cell phone, to arrange sexual contact with children.[5] He was also convicted of violating the girls' civil rights. He was sentenced to 37 years in prison.[6] In July 2007 his motion to reduce this sentence was denied by a federal judge.[7] In 2006, Giordano sued the city for back pay resulting from sick days and vacation time.
Giordano is currently serving his 37-year sentence at the United States Penitentiary, Tucson, a high security federal prison in Arizona, and is scheduled for release in 2033.[9]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Giordano

Giordano actually served for a time as Mayor while behind bars.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/aponline/20010828/aponline000354_000.htm

Waterbury is so bad that
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The city is known for its hard-nosed political culture compared locally to Cook County, Illinois, close elections, and a number of scandals. This reputation is so solidified that U.S. Senator Joseph I. Lieberman once joked that upon his death, he hoped to be buried in Waterbury so he could remain politically active.

However prolific Waterbury is in corruption business, it is not alone.
Joe Ganim Mayor of Bridgeport
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was convicted  of racketeering, extortion, bribery and mail fraud, among other felonies, for his role in a six-year scheme to shake down city contractors for more than $500,000 in cash, meals, clothing, wine and home renovations.

Eddie Perez, former Hartford Mayor
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charged with extortion and conspiracy involving a no-bid parking lot deal with Abraham Giles, a former state representative.
In addition Perez accepted $40,000 in home improvements as a bribe from a contractor who wanted to keep a $2.4 million city contract. They said Perez also tried to extort $100,000 from a developer for a political ally.

Even in some smaller towns like East Haven some of the politicians have a strong tendency to put their feet in their mouths.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/w7-jt6CNcu4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/w7-jt6CNcu4</a>

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BrooklynBull
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« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2013, 09:30:22 AM »

Do not forget the two time losing Senatorial candidate who pedaled steroids to her employees, Linda McMahon.
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CTBullsfan
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« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2013, 09:46:41 AM »

Do not forget the two time losing Senatorial candidate who pedaled steroids to her employees, Linda McMahon.

Well at least we were smart enough not to elect her. Personally I think being head of the WWE is much better job than being a Senator anyway.
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BrandedBull
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« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2013, 10:42:00 AM »

OK I am biting on the picture.  What was the deal with that picture of Geno?
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BrooklynBull
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« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2013, 11:06:02 AM »

OK I am biting on the picture.  What was the deal with that picture of Geno?

http://www.usatoday.com/story/gameon/2013/02/19/geno-auriemma-kim-mulkey-butt-pat/1930225/

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Thankfully, Rich Elliot of the Connecticut Post noticed the exchange and asked Auriemma about it after UConn's 76-70 loss. The coach said it was a playful moment:

    "She was staring at my butt and she was commenting on it and I said, 'Really? How about yours?' and she went, `Yeah, look at it,' and I went (slap), I'll teach you a lesson. And then she started talking about how she only dated Italians her whole life and that she wanted me to set her up with some Italians and I said, `The Italians I send to see you aren't going to date you.' We've had a long and great relationship since, gosh, she was an assistant at Louisiana Tech. It goes back a long ways.

    "She's just a big pain in the butt. That's all there is to it.''
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CTBullsfan
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« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2013, 02:05:56 PM »

Connecticut also has a hard time figuring out where it begins and ends.

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In 1642, when Nathaniel Woodward and Solomon Saffery concluded their survey that mistakenly created the Notch in Connecticut's boundary with Massachusetts, they inadvertently provoked a century and a half of antipathy among residents whose towns had suddenly changed states.

''Persons from Connecticut went into Massachusetts territory and there insulted the inhabitants, claiming jurisdiction over them,'' wrote Roland Hooker in his 1933 book, ''Boundaries of Connecticut.'' In return, men from Massachusetts crossed into Windsor and Simsbury, Conn., to steal timber and turpentine, ''and to imprison the inhabitants.''



In addition to "The Notch" There is also an Oblong (which is about a 20 minute walk from my house)
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The Oblong is a term applied to a one and three-quarter mile wide strip of land along the western border of Connecticut from the Massachusetts line to the north border of New Canaan. This land was deeded by Connecticut to New York in 1731 in exchange for Greenwich and other land, essentially ending a long dispute about the location of the western border of Connecticut.
As a consequence of this trade, much of early Ridgefield is now in New York State. Within the town of Lewisboro, the Oblong includes the village of South Salem and virtually all the territory south to (but not including) Vista, and west to Cross Pond (Lake Kitchawan), plus the east half of Lake Waccabuc.



Quote
The ceding of land caused some problems with titles, although it appears that most Connecticut people who suddenly became New Yorkers held on to the land they had obtained through deeds filed in Connecticut. Consider, however, the concern of Timothy Canfield, who filed the following statement in the Ridgefield land records in 1739. Mr. Canfield described himself as "living in ye Oblong near Ridgefield, in ye county of West Chester and Government of New York, having formerly purchased six acres of land of James Northrup of Ridgefield ... which land lyes in ye Southwest Ridges so called ... which tract of land was cutt off by ye Government line, whereby my title and property unto said land utterly passed and became void..." Later, however, he indicates that he still had title to the land.
Although the 1731 boundary was official, Connecticut remained dissatisfied with the line, maintaining in 1855 that boundary markers had disappeared or were unclear. A new survey was undertaken that year, but it wasn't until the 1880-81 sessions of the New York and Connecticut legislatures that the line was ratified and that Congress confirmed it - 235 years after the discussions began.
The term, the Oblong, appears in the Ridgefield land records as late as 1786, but lasted years longer in New York State towns.



Pennsylvania was an issue too.

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The most violent border dispute in the region, according to Mr. Collier, involved Connecticut's claim to northern Pennsylvania from 1768 to 1786.
The claim stemmed from Connecticut's 1662 charter, which stipulated that the state's western boundary extended to the Pacific Ocean. ''It actually involved bloodshed'' between militias of the two states, Mr. Collier said. The dispute was resolved through an interstate trial, heard in Trenton, which Connecticut lost. But Hartford officials did not walk away empty-handed. Pennsylvania agreed to give them a large swath of what became known as the Western Reserve, the heart of which is modern-day Cleveland.

At least they had the good sense to get rid of Ohio
Quote
Shortly thereafter, Connecticut sold the property to land speculators, who sold it to all willing buyers. Eventually, that land became part of the new state of Ohio.
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BrandedBull
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« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2013, 04:27:32 PM »

You're smart.  First time I ever came here an learned something.  Kudos.  Going to spout my knowledge at the dinner table tonight. 
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CTBullsfan
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« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2013, 04:47:19 PM »

You're smart.  First time I ever came here an learned something.  Kudos.  Going to spout my knowledge at the dinner table tonight. 

Well... I did go to UB!!!
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Hokie200proof
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« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2013, 10:21:02 PM »

This is some good stuff. 


And Geno hit that.  No doubt. 
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« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2013, 11:00:55 AM »

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/o5VsHvpQGdY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/o5VsHvpQGdY</a>

I find this hilarious. None of the students knew anything about our University and first reaction to Buffalo is snow.

If we are the State University of NY we might have a positive perception of the school
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